STOP WASTING TIME TYPING!
You know what? I was dictating a letter to my secretary the other day - lovely girl, face like a smacked arse but she types quick - and I thought HOLD ON A MINUTE! Why am I paying her when I could just TALK STRAIGHT INTO THE COMPUTER?
Listen, I tried that Wispr Flow nonsense - WHAT A LOAD OF OLD TOSH! Slower than my nan on a mobility scooter and about as reliable as a chocolate teapot. Plus they're reading all your business like some nosy neighbor peeking through the curtains. NOT ON MY WATCH!
This app - and I'm not messing about here - this app is like having a personal assistant who NEVER takes a lunch break, NEVER calls in sick, and NEVER gives you attitude when you ask them to work late. BOSH!
THE TIBBS GUARANTEE:
- Press button - EASY AS BREATHING ✓
- Talk your bollocks off - SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT ✓
- Let go - THAT'S IT, YOU'RE DONE ✓
- BOOM! Perfect text appears like MAGIC - NO SPELLING MISTAKES ✓
- No more "ums", "ahs", or that embarrassing heavy breathing - CLEAN AS A WHISTLE ✓
AND HERE'S THE BEAUTY OF IT - Everything stays on YOUR computer!
That's right, I'm not snooping through your love letters to Barbara from accounts or your secret recipe for egg fried rice. COMPLETELY PRIVATE!
Delete it whenever you want, download your data as a CSV, even train an AI to sound like you (though why anyone would want two Terry Tibbs in the world is beyond me).
Your pervy poems, your dodgy business deals, your mother-in-law rants - ALL SAFE AS HOUSES on your own machine!
Not like those other cowboys sending your data to some spotty teenager in Silicon Valley. This one's proper naughty. 3000% productivity boost? I'd say that's CONSERVATIVE!
Right, I've got seventeen conference calls and a Bentley to test drive, so GET ON THE BETA LIST NOW before I change my mind and give all the spots to my golf buddies!
First come, first served - and trust me, you want to be FIRST!
Once we hit 100, that's it - DOOR'S CLOSED!